User blog:ReCattailMagnet/Frozen Parody 2: Jay Edition!
This is my Frozen parody... Chapter I: Something Happens (What, Did You Expect A GOOD Chapter Title?) *guys cut ice for no reason* Men: There was supposed to be a song here, but Jay took it out because he was too lazy to write one! Boy: Umm, that song was really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really random. Men: Who let you on the ice anyways? It's dangerous for you to be out here! Boy: :| But Rookie and his pet Reindeer Puffle are on the ice! Men: Listen, we don't really like Rookie, so we let him on the ice in hopes that he would drown or something. Boy: Oh... Okay! *walks off the ice* Meanwhile in a nearby castle... Dana: Jay, wake up! Jay: Dana, it's 2:00 in the morning. Dana: But the sky's asleep, so I'm awake! Jay: Go back to sleep. Dana: Do you wanna make a parody? Jay: *smiles and runs downstairs with Dana* Dana: Do the magic! Jay: *makes it snow in the room and creates snowman* Hi, I'm Charlie, and I like warm cake! Dana: AHH! I hate cake! *smacks off Charlie's head* Charlie: *eyes turn red* You will pay for this... Dana: AHH! The snowman is mean! Jay: Don't worry! *tries to freeze snowman but accidentally freezes Dana's head instead* Oops! Parents: *run downstairs* We conveniently got here at the right exact time! What happened? Jay: I froze Dana! Parents: *look at each other* Okay Jay: :/ That's not your line! In fact, can't we just skip to the troll part? In a library... Parents: *pick up book entitled "How to Make A Parody"* On a mountain... *Jay, Dana, and his parents are riding on an Orange Puffle* Elsa: The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen. Parents: I think we're on the wrong mountain. Jay: No, Disney's shooting some movie called Frozen here. Parents: When will we get to the top of this mountain? Jay: Even stranger, how are we all fitting on this Puffle? Parents: No idea. *the Orange Puffle leaves behind an icy trail in the grass* Rookie: Hey look! White stuff! *Rookie follows the ice on his reindeer Puffle* At the top of the mountain... *all the rocks turn into trolls* Troll #1: What happened? Parents: Jay froze Dana! Troll #1: Well, good thing it was only her head. If it had been her toenails, that would be really, really bad. Or her heart would be pretty bad too. Parents: Can you fix it? Troll #1: No. Parents: You know you're being paid to be in this parody, right? Troll #1: Yes, I can fix it! All I have to do is touch her head because I'm a magic troll and I can PhotoShop memories! *touches Dana's head* Parents: Cool. Meanwhile, Rookie and his reindeer Puffle are watching. Troll #2: Hello, boys! Rookie: AGGH! You know my Puffle is a girl, right? Troll #2: No, I didn't know that... I'm gonna keep you! Rookie: But I have parents... Troll #2: *kills Rookie's parents* I'M GONNA KEEP YOU. *eyes turn red* Rookie: Okay... Back with Jay, Dana, and their parents... Troll #1: By the way, Dana might want to eat random things for the next 8-100 years because I may have messed up her brain a bit... Parents: Okay! Wait, what? Troll #1: Also, don't lock him in his room or teach him to fear himself or to conceal, don't feel! There is great danger in his powers! Parents: What's that? Lock him in his room? Teach him to fear himself and to conceal, don't feel? There is greatness in his powers? Okay! Chapter II: Do You Wanna Eat A Snowman? Dana: Do you wanna eat a snowman? Come on, let's get a knife! I'm really hungry right now, I'd even eat a cow Even if it wasn't alive! Jay: Wait, you'd eat a LIVE cow? Dana: Yeah, isn't that how normal penguins eat cows? Jay: Penguins don't eat cows... And no... Dana: Whatever. I'm really, really hungry, But you are not. What am I gonna do? Do you wanna eat a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman. Jay: Eat without me... I just had lunch. Dana: Okay, bye. 4 years later later... Dana: Do you wanna eat a snowman? Or eat some buffalo wings? I'm getting really worried, I've started swallowing The pictures on the walls! Stay in there, Joan... *throws up* I told you to stay in there! I feel a little hungry, All these empty plates. Just waiting 'till dinner time! (When will dinner be ready?) Jay and Dana are now teenagers. Parents: Hey kids, we're going on a cruise ship! Dana: How do you know the ship won't crash? Parents: It's called the Titanic! There's a 0.000001% chance that it will crash. Despite this, the Titanic crashes in an ice berg. The parents die. Dana: Jay? Please, I know you're in there... People are asking where the food's been... And I've been eating all of it. Now I'm hiding 'cause they want it. Just let me in. I give them my leftovers, But they complain. What am I gonna do? Do you wanna eat a snowman? Jay: Have you checked the refrigerator? Dana: There's food in the refrigerator?! Chapter III: Coronation Day Helmet: Dana, are you awake? Dana: Yes. Helmet: No you aren't, you're asleep. It's coronation day. Dana: What's a coronation day? Is it edible? Helmet: No... It's the day your brother becomes the King. Dana: Oh... Helmet: NOW WAKE UP! Dana: Okay. Helmet: By the way, my script says you are supposed to sing a song now. *a frying pan is heard hitting someone* Dana: Umm... The refrigerator's open, and here's an apple core I didn't know they ate these anymore! Should I eat off of a plate? Helmet: Yeah, isn't that what you're supposed to do? For years I've roamed these empty paths, Why have a bathroom with no bath? Finally, they're opening up the gates! There'll be actual real live penguins, It'll be totally strange, But wow! Am I so ready for this Club Penguin update 'Cause for the first time in forever I'll eat some apple pie, For the first time in forever, I'll be waddling through the night! Don't know if I'm hungry or really hungry But I'm somewhere in that zone! 'Cause for the first time in forever-''' '''Hey look, a free cell phone! I can't wait to eat everything! *gasp* What if I eat... The one? Tonight, imagine me body item and all Fetchingly draped against the wall The picture of sophisticated cake... Wait, I hate cake! I suddenly see it sitting there A beautiful food, like a chocolate bar I wanna stuff it all in my face! But then I digest it all evening Which is totally bizarre Nothing like the food I've ate so far! For the first time in forever I'll get to eat even more food! For the first time in forever Jay won't be in a mood! And maybe I don't only need food Maybe I'll find romance But for the first time in forever... I'll meet all my great aunts! Jay: Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the penguin you always had to be Conceal, don't feel, Put on a show Make one wrong move and everyone will know But it's only for today Dana: It's only for today! Jay: It's agony to wait! Dana: It's agony to wait! Jay: TELL THE GUARDS TO OPEN UP THE GATES! Dana: The gate! For the first time in forever Jay: Don't let them in, don't let them see Wait, aren't these words the same words in a song I'm going to sing later? Helmet: Uh... No... Dana: I'm getting what I'm dreaming of Jay: Be the penguin you always had to be Dana: A chance to change my lonely world Jay: Conceal Dana: Did you know chocolate reminds you of love? Jay: Conceal, don't feel Don't let them know Well now they know Let it go, let it go-''' Helmet: Wrong song... Jay: Oh... Dana: '''I know it ends tomorrow So it has to be today 'Cause for the first time in forever For the first time in forever I might even eat cake! Oh! *falls into a boat* Gary: Woah! *saves Dana* Are you okay? Dana: Yeah, I'm fine. What's your name? Rockhopper: *pushes Gary out of the way* Hello, me name be Prince Rockhopper! What is ye name? Dana: I'm Dana... You look more like a pirate than a Prince... Rockhopper: Oh, Club Penguin just made me look like this and have bad grammar. I not be a pirate! I be a prince! Dana: Oooookay... Later... Helmet: I hereby crown Jay or something... Behold, King Jay! Everybody: *claps* Jay: Thank you!... Is that how it really works? Helmet: I don't know. Duke Sensei: Hello, King Jay. I offer you your first pie as King. Jay: Oh, I don't eat pie... Duke Sensei: Oh, that's a shame. Jay: But my sister does! Dana: Actually- Duke Sensei: *stuffs pie in Dana's mouth* Dana: Oh, I don't like pie anymore... I think I'm going to be sick... *runs to the bathroom and runs into Rockhopper* Rockhopper: Oh, hello, Princess Dana. Dana: Hi again... Rockhopper: Ye want to sing a song? Dana: Sure! Chapter IV: Love Is A Locked Door Dana: Can I say something crazy? Rockhopper: I like crazy! Dana: All my life has been a series of doors in my face And then suddenly you bump into me! Rockhopper: I be thinking the same thing! 'Cause like I be sailin' me whole life to find me own place And me island be infested with trees! Dana: But with you Rockhopper: But with ye I found me place Dana: I see your face! Both: And it's like you're a key I didn't need before/'And it's like he be a key me didn't need before' Love is a locked door!/'Love be a locked door!' x3 Dana: With you! Rockhopper: With ye! Dana: With you! Rockhopper: Ye already said that... Both: Love is a locked door!/'Love be a locked door!' Rockhopper: I mean it be crazy Dana: What? Rockhopper: That we finish each other's-''' Dana: Sentences! Rockhopper: I was gonna say sandwiches! Dana: '''I've never met someone Both: Who eats so much like me! Jinx! Jinx again! Our digestive systems Have only one exposition Rockhopper: Ye-''' Dana: 'And I-' Rockhopper: 'Were-' Dana: 'Just-' Both: '''Meant to eat! Dana: Say goodbye-''' Rockhopper: 'Say goodbye-' Both: '''To the pains of our hunger We don't have to feel it anymore Love is a locked door!/'Love be a locked door!' x2 Life can be so much more! Dana: With you! Rockhopper: With ye! Dana: With you! Rockhopper: Ye already said that... Both: Love is a locked door!/'Love be a locked door!' Rockhopper: Can I say something crazy? Will ye marry me? Dana: Can I say something even crazier? NO! Rockhopper: Can I say something even more crazy? Really? Dana: Can I say something even crazier than that? Just kidding. YES! Later... Dana: King Jay... Jay: Yes? Rockhopper: Can ye... Dana: Give us your blessing... Both: For our marriage? Jay: No way! You either just met him or you met him online... I never trusted online dating... Dana: WHAT?! Chapter V: Jay Gets Angry Dana: But you're my brother! Jay: But he's a stranger! Dana: YOU ARE THE WORST BROTHER EVER! Jay: *runs away* Dana: JAY, COME BACK! YOU'VE SPENT ALL YOUR LIFE LOCKED IN YOUR ROOM, AND NOW- Hey look, chocolate! *picks up chocolate on the floor* Jay: *freezes the chocolate* Dana: :O Duke Sensei: OFF WITH HIS HEAD! *grabs a water hammer thing from Card-Jitsu Snow* Jay: AHH! *runs and freezes everything* Duke Sensei: *runs out the front door* DIE, JAY, DIE! Where is Jay, anyways? Dana: You know he went out the back door, right? Duke Sensei: He did? Dana: *runs out the back door with Rockhopper* Jay: *runs across the water that turns into ice* Dana: WHAT? Duke Sensei: Are you a witch, too? Dana: My brother isn't a witch- Duke Sensei: HE ISN'T? His first name is Catherine, so- Dana: Never mind. I'll go look for Jay. Rockhopper: Okay! Can I be in charge of the kingdom for a while and betray you at the end of this- I mean, nothing? Dana: Sure! Rockhopper: Be careful! Not. Dana: TANK'S! Rockhopper: Tank's? Tank: *jumps on Rockhopper* Rockhopper: AHHHH! Dana: Yeah, Tank's right behind you! *rides away on an Orange Puffle* Remind me why there isn't a song in this scene? Orange Puffle: I don't like you, Dana. *throws Dana far away* Dana: OW! *hits the ground, conveniently landing in front of a shop* Wandering Gary's Trading Post... *snow falls off sign* And Coffee! Wait a minute, why isn't there a song in this scene? *enters the room* Wandering Gary: Salutations! Dana: Umm, hi? Wandering Gary: Big summer blowout! Dana: Have you even looked outside today? Wandering Gary: Yes, it's summer. Dana: Umm, it's snowing. Wandering Gary: Another 1816, huh? Dana: 1816? What? Wandering Gary: Well, in 1816- Dana: What do you have for winter? Wandering Gary: It's right over there! *points to a coat, a stick, and a machine labeled the Heat-A-Tron 3000* Dana: Hmmm... *thinking* What would be useful here? *not thinking* How much is the stick? Wandering Gary: $2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Dana: And how much is the Heat-A-Tron 3000? Wandering Gary: One penny. Dana: Oh, come on, I can't afford that! I'll just take the stick instead. *pays Wandering Gary* Wandering Gary: Thank you. Rookie: *walks in* How much for the Heat-A-Tron 3000? Chapter VI: Yet Another Chapter Without a Song Wandering Gary: One penny. Rookie: WHAT?! This is an OUTRAGE! Wandering Gary: Sorry, but if you can't buy it, leave. Rookie: Can I at least have some socks? Wandering Gary: Sorry, but we have no socks. Rookie: I need it to feed my Puffle. Dana: Please, can you take me to a mountain? Rookie: If you give me some socks, yes. Dana: Uggh. Rookie: Listen, if you get me some socks unlike this cheap- Wandering Gary: What did you just call me? Rookie: AHHH! *runs outside* Dana: Wandering Gary, can you lower the price on the Heat-A-Tron 3000? Wandering Gary: Nope. Dana: I have some coffee here. Wandering Gary: Take it. And you can take these socks, too. Dana: I thought you said you didn't have socks. Wandering Gary: If you can figure out how many I have, I'll recruit you to the- Dana: *has already left* In a shack... Rookie: 'Puffles are better than penguins-' I SAID NO SONGS IN THIS CHAPTER! Dana: *throws the Heat-A-Tron 3000 at Rookie* Rookie: OOF! Dana: Take me up that mountain. Now. Rookie: Okay. Chapter VII: There Is A Song In This Chapter Coming soon! Category:Blog posts